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| The Virtue of Selfishness (Photo credit: Wikipedia) |
By Wikipedia: Selfishness is placing concern with oneself or one's own interests above the well-being of others.
Dictionary.com: (selfish is) devoted to or caring only for oneself; concerned primarily with one's own interests, benefits, welfare, etc., regardless of others.
It seems, according to these definitions, suicide is indeed a "selfish act". So the real question is: is selfishness always bad? (Since I don't mean to get into the discussion about fundamental questions of morality, "good" or "bad" in this post simply mean their general use based on common moral standard.)
My answer are both "yes" and "no". I think we have to put selfishness in context. First of all, if a selfish act did not bring harm to others, I think it is not a bad thing at all. We all have right, and should, to treat ourselves kindly, do our best to live a happy life. Secondly, in case that a selfish act did cause others' pain, we still need to examine the circumstance: if the act were motivated by greed, by "entertainment", it is bad, if the act were caused by pain, by suffering, it is not. Of course, there are many more layers between these two conditions, but for me, this differentiation can temporarily serve as "benchmark".
I think in our daily use of this term - "selfishness", we usually mean the kind that brings harm to others, and is motivated by negative reasons, such as greed. That's how this term usually bears a negative "countenance" in most people's eyes. And because of this general use, we tend to ignore some exceptions, some more subtle layers in between, or some extreme conditions, such as suicide.
So here we go again: relativity. I believe most of time we cannot judge things by look at them alone. Because things do not stand alone, instead, they exist as parts of a whole. As parts, things tangle with each other, so we better look at them in context, in comparison, to see how they relate to other parts. So many time I found people (myself included) easily jump into judgement by certain notions, with simple "black and white" thinking style. Certainly "black and white" is a pattern easy to understand, an formula easy to follow, but unfortunately, reality is so much more complicated than just black and white.
Based on this understanding (relativity), I would even go farther, that not only "selfishness" is not always "bad", but altruism is not always "good". However, I better save this topic for some other time.
I'm broadly in agreement with this, semantics and pedantry aside.
ReplyDeleteThanks Dale!
DeleteI agree. Selfishness is not always bad, and altruism is not always good. Believing otherwise is a reflection of black and white thinking.
ReplyDeletethanks kris!
DeleteIf you don't take care of yourself, you would never be in a position to take care of others.
ReplyDeleteTo me it is only when you do harm to others, it is bad.
totally agree! Thanks PBScott!
Deleteyunyi, Oscar Wilde said it beautifully:
ReplyDelete“Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live. And unselfishness is letting other people's lives alone, not interfering with them. Selfishness always aims at creating around it an absolute uniformity of type. Unselfishness recognises infinite variety of type as a delightful thing, accepts it, acquiesces in it, enjoys it. It is not selfish to think for oneself. A man who does not think for himself does not think at all. It is grossly selfish to require of one's neighbour that he should think in the same way, and hold the same opinions. Why should he? If he can think, he will probably think differently. If he cannot think, it is monstrous to require thought of any kind from him. A red rose is not selfish because it wants to be a red rose. It would be horribly selfish if it wanted all the other flowers in the garden to be both red and roses."
This probably is the most beautiful interpretation of this subject. Thanks Marty for sharing it.
DeleteYun, I think Dale posed a very good question, “Is selfishness always bad?” I believe that “selfishness” is relative to the circumstances going on around whatever act is considered to be selfish, but by definition, it is always about “self-interest.” So any action regarding the “self,” such as suicide, would be a selfish act by that definition. But as you wrote, there are many layers to it.
ReplyDeleteI completely agree with your “yes” and “no” answer. It needs to be put into context, and there are many shades of gray to this. Yes, “reality is so much more complicated than just black and white.” Selfishness is not always necessarily bad. I also agree that altruism is not necessarily always good. Very thoughtful post on a complex subject!
thanks madilyn!
DeleteIt certainly depends on the situation. Long ago my friend asked me if he should break up with his girlfriend because she was doing some bad things.
ReplyDeleteAnd I told him: Do you love her enough to forgive her or do you love yourself enough to walk away from a bad situation?
As far as taking your own life, it also depends on the circumstances. What happens if a person has a terrible illness (cancer) and doesn't want to face his last days in pain, suffering and humiliation?
I don't think he should be punished in any way if he wants to go out on his own terms.
nicely put!
DeleteI think there should be separate definitions selfish and selfull. Like the others said - the oxygen comparison. I'm not really a Rand fan. I almost feel about Rand similar to what I think of Madonna: Not my cup of tea, have respect for her talent, history and where she wanted to be influenced her work, and many take both messages out of context. Both became a parody of themselves.
ReplyDeleteCharlene, I agree, that some more specific terms are needed. I am not so much Ann Rand fan either. I don't particularly like her writing style as a novelist, but I admire her reasoning on philosophy, though I may not agree her opinions.
DeleteYou have pretty much cleared the air, Yun. Just as you say, we are not computers following the binary system. There are more than zeroes and ones to this word.
ReplyDelete"There are more than zeroes and ones to this word", well said Uma!
ReplyDeleteYes, I think that selfishness is always bad. To care about or take care of yourself, in my opinion, is not selfishness, and like some others have said, I think the problem is in the fact that the word "selfish" is actually used to describe too broad a category of actions and situations when another word or definition would be far more appropriate.
ReplyDeleteSelfishness should really only be used to describe the actions that someone takes when they behave or act in a certain way to feed their own self-interests, regardless of the impact those actions will have on others. If you have made any decision, or done anything, where you really couldn't have cared less how it impacted others, just for your own self-gain or self-benefit, I do believe there is something inherently wrong with that.
I tend to agree with you, that it would be easier if we had clear definition on "selfishness", stick on its negative meaning.
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