Holiday Kindness And My Gratitude

 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I have been complaining about how much misunderstanding a chronic illness sufferer would receive in her/his daily life, which is true, but, still, there are plenty of understanding out there, to which I am not blind. The incidence of last night was one of them.

Yesterday (Christmas Eve) I was invited by a parent of my student to a Christmas dinner party. It was a joined family parties by at least 3 families, which I know them all. I thought I was in good condition so I happily agreed to come. So late afternoon, I went to bought some presents, and arrived their house a little after 5pm.

Gandhi's "Pacifist" View On War

(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I have never liked Gandhi, not only because I didn't like what I saw from photos, also some stories I read about his life convinced me that he was not the person people believe he was. And recently, one of George Orwell's essays again echoes my impression of this popular figure.

In George Orwell's essay Reflections On Gandhi, he mentioned that he never heard a (extreme) pacifist answering the question regarding to WWII:
"How about the Jews? Are you prepared to see them exterminated? If not, how do you propose to save them without resorting war?" Gandhi's answer to this question was that German Jews ought to commit collective suicide, which "would have arouse the world and people in Germany to Hitler's violence".

Sign Of Narrow Mindedness

(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

There are many signs of narrow mindedness, adhering to first impressions (of persons or things) is certainly one of them.

Can Therapy "Fix" Homosexuality? - See What It Did To Highsmith

I have been off and on a bio of Highsmith: Beautiful Shadow - A Life Of Patricia Highsmith, by Andrew Wilson, in which there is an anecdote of Highsmith that I could not get over it:

During her late 20s, Highsmith was troubled by her sexuality and she sincerely wanted to fix it, because she wanted to marry a man who deeply loved her. So she underwent a therapy, believed it would eventually convert her to heterosexual. Since the therapy was extremely expensive, she had to take another job in a toy store to catch up with bills. It was in that store she met a female customer, who inspired her to write her second novel Price Of Salt (also published as Carol in later editions) - one of (or the only one) greatest romance books about lesbians relationship, or any love relationship!

Meet The Genius Highsmith On A Train!

I mentioned earlier in my blog that Edith Diary was my best pick among all Highsmith's books I had read, but now I found I was wrong, because after I finished Strangers On A Train, I had to put it on top of Edith Diary and The Talented Mr. Ripley. As matter of fact I was speechless! (As one of comments in Amazon put: "The only other experience I've had in life that was as ravaging as this book is sex.") I wish I read this book before I watched the movie, though the movie is significantly different from the book (except the first one third, which probably was the reason I did not continue reading the book last year. Also I must to say that the movie loses all profoundness of the book).

I would like to write a more comprehensive review on this masterpiece in future but right now, I need to vent out my owe!

"Carol In A Thousand Cities" --- More On "Price Of Salt"

 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

After being so thrilled by the ending of Price of Salt, I could not help to go back reading it again, mainly the beginning, where I thought it was slow and boring. Oh it must be I who was slow and bored, because this time I found it enchanting and necessary, so necessary that only after we read all those passages could we be prepared properly for the arrival of Carol - "an amalgamation of all qualities Highsmith admired in a woman" (Beautiful Shadow - A Life Of Patricia Highsmith, Andrew Wilson).

Price Of Salt - Forbidden Love

 I found Highsmith's work is like an attractive person in unattractive outfits, the more you know this person, the more you find his/her irresistible charm. Usually I had to keep reading her books until quite late to find that "impossible to put down" feeling, and Price of Salt is especially the case. The first 10% doesn't even seem relevant to the story. I actually read 5% last year and quit. This time I decided to just "have a taste", ignore her "unattractive outfit" (yes, I skipped over lots of details), then, I found something that not only need to be tasted, but to be chewed, swallowed and digested.

The story is about a 19 year-old girl Therese, who come from a complicated family, a "newbie" in adult life and romance, falls in love with Carol, a woman who is over 10 years her senior, who is experienced, sophisticated and goddess-like. The beginning of book is very slow, but story picks its pace when Carol enters the scene. How they know each other and starts dating, how they fall in love, and how their love develops is totally absorbing (I had to go through that pain and sweetness all over again!). And the ending - what an unexpected sublimation!

Experience In Misery, Misfortune, Etc.

Misery (novel) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Experience or study in misery, misfortune, even perverted darkness of human psyche is not a necessity for our happiness, but a must for a good understanding of human nature. And without a good/comprehensive understanding of human nature, humanity would never progress.

"This Sweet Sickness" - This Sweet Pervertedness!

This Sweet Sickness (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

This Sweet Sickness is one of Patricia Highsmith's early books. The story is about a young intelligent scientist David Kelsey's obsession of a young woman, Annabelle. As Annabelle pushes him further and further, Kelsey's obsession gets more intense, until he finally traps in an inescapable corner of web woven by himself.

The first one third of book is very slow, I almost gave up, but I am glad I didn't, because the last one third is absolutely brilliant - as situation gets more pressing, Kelsey's hallucination gets more real, he becomes more confused about his true identity. This part of book reminds me The Talented Mr. Ripley, but only more emotionally thrilling (though overall I still like Rilpley more).

Talent Vs. Intelligence

Intelligence (journal) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Seeing so many people so easily and openly admit their lack of talent, yet so uneasily and reluctantly judge their intelligence, it can only make sense to me to conclude that no matter how much people venerate talent, it is intelligence that really matters to them.

Commitment

English: Bernardine Oblates make their Commitment (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Commitment is refuge for the weak, prison for the strong.

Highsmith's Super-antihero - The Talented Mr Ripley

In The Talented Mr. Ripley, Patricia Highsmith created a serial killer who is extremely anti-social, yet intelligent and charming.

Tom Ripley is a young man who lives in New York with poverty. He is also deft con-artist. One day he is caught by Mr. Greenleaf, who ask him to go to Europe to persuade his son - Dick Greenleaf back to America. Mr Greenleaf offers a handsome amount of money, so Tom embarks on the mission.

In a small town called Mongibello in Italy, Tom finds Dickie Greenleaf, who lies happily with his girlfriend. As story goes on, Tom quickly becomes Dickie's friend, and the relationship between he and Dickie gets more and more complicated and obsessive. As a traumatized person, Tom envies Dickie almost in every aspect of his life, and what worse is, he is "abnormally" attracted to him. Unlike the movie version, his attraction to Dickie in original book is not so much sexual, but more platonic and intellectual (of course, Highsmith was not at all into romance, either straight or homosexual).

Saving Mr Banks - Conquering The Dark Past By Creativity

Again, I watched Saving Mr Banks by chasing Ruth Wilson's filmography, and was again satisfied. Not only I was impressed by Wilson's play, also I was surprised to see that another favorite actress of mine - Emma Thompson - was the leading actress of the film.

Saving Mr Bank is about the life of P.L. Travers, the author of Mary Poppins. The film focuses on the part of her life when she comes to America with hesitation to meet Walt Disney (played by Tom Hanks), working with other Disney film workers to adapt her book into Disney film. Prior to this point, Walt Disney has been begged her to adapt her book for 20 years, and Travers, who detests Cartoon culture, does not agree until her own financial situation is in trouble. During the teamwork in Disney, the movie constantly flashes back to Travers earlier life, reveals the childhood trauma that Travers carries all her adult life.

"Edith's Diary" - The Murderous Mediocrity

Edith lives two lives: in her diary, she has a happy family, her husband is loving and her son is successful; in reality, she has a dysfunctional family, her son is alcoholic and her husband is cheating. As her diary turns page by page, her utopian life climbs up higher and higher, to almost perfection; as reality moves day by day, her factual life sinks lower and lower, until the boredom and heavyweight routine gradually erodes her tender heart, consumes her vital energy, take away her sanity and eventually crashes her life.

Among all Patricia Highsmith's novels I have read -the most famous ones would be The stranger on the train, Ripliad series, Edith Diary is undoubtedly the most thrilling. The character (Edith) she crafted is extremely convincing, the scenario she conceived is hauntingly thought-provoking.

"Small Island" - An Underrated Masterpiece

I had not cried for long time, but recently I cried twice, both due to Ruth Wilson's powerful performances, one of which was in Small Island (another one is in Saving Mr Banks).

Small Island is a BBC TV movie that consists of two episodes. It tells a story about lives of 4 people during and after WWII: Hortense and Gilbert, two young black people who come to England from Jamaica seeking for new life; Queenie and Bernard, two young English people who married each other but soon they marriage is disturbed by the war. Hortense and Gilbert have grand dream about their new life in England, but after they come to the country, they not only have to endure poverty, but also racial discrimination. Queenie and Bernard also have to endure hardships brought by the war, but their different dreams and life attitudes seem to tear them apart even further.

"The Affair" - A Powerful Affair

Romance bores me, but affair doesn't... The Showtime TV drama series The Affair, is a story about a serious affair - both lovers - Noah and Alison - are married, with their respectively royal (at least so far) husband and wife, yet they fall in love with each other at the first sight, and get more and more passionate and comfortable about each other. There are quite many sexual scenes, played by both actors intensely and realistically, make their secret passion dangerously contagious. I can imagine that it must be disturbing for audiences with conventional minds.

Again, romance is not my type, but I am addicted into this show nonetheless because there is so much more than just "affair". There is humanity in their affair, which draws audiences sympathy "ruthlessly" to the characters, despite our moral principle; there are background stories with "secrets" from each side's family, being unraveled slowly, but intriguingly through each episode; there is suspense - a murder is going on, which we knew from the first episode, but still know so little about it after 6 episodes. So we keep guessing.

Forgiveness And Peace

English: White tulips (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Do we find peace because we forgive, or we forgive because we find peace?

"peace"

The world might reach its final "peace" if there are only two types people reside in it: one that slap others faces, and one that not only grant being slapped, but also turn the other side to whoever slap them.

From Unknown Illnesses To The Limits Of Reason

Hippocrates: a conventionalized image in a Roman "portrait" bust (19th century engraving) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

My mother died in 2010 and I was too ill to go back. When my relatives asked me what kind of illness I had, I had to use bunches of words to describe my condition, because there was no term for my my problem. I did not convince them, so judgment came along.

I consider myself a quite convincing person, but why didn't I convince them on this "simple" matter? Years later I found the reason was simple: I did not have a name for my illness. Had I just thrown them a term like "myalgic encephalomyelitis", I could easily shut all of them up. But sadly that's not what I got. What I've got had no name - at least according to  modern medicine, which most people worship, so my explanation became excuse.

Religious Attitude

The Rivers of Belief (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Religious attitude is nothing more than holding our beliefs - personal or collective, sound or unsound, such as God, free will, humanism, even kindness - as a general truth. That is to say, we are religious as long as we let our beliefs govern our reasoning.