"fit in", bully, and culture revolution

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I come to this country for individualism. It’s been almost 15 years. Now, I have to say, yes, there is much more room for individualists than in China, but, still not as much as I expected, especially now in teenagers' groups.

Parents in this country worry so much more about kids' "fit in" than kids' interest or curiosity about knowledge and skills. And the tragedies of young kids' being hurt are getting serious (even bully to death). It’s terrible! I have to say, those bullies remind me Red Guards during Cultural Revolution in China.

It seems to me, that both capitalism and communism do not guarantee the good nature of human, and both of them do not bring evil spirit to human either. What really produces man-made disasters from time to time, I believe is the fear of being alone. That's what Eric Fromm pointed out in his book "escape from freedom" longtime ago. He thought that most people didn't know how to enjoy freedom, didn't know how to be responsible to their freedom, instead, they escaped from it, because freedom brought them loneliness. And to avoid loneliness, people could do anything, even killing, because as long as they did in group actions, they would feel “happiness” of feeling “belong”.
I am more and more convinced that Eric Fromm told some universal truth here. And collectivism is always dangerous, no matter it is from communism, or capitalism.

Bullied to death --- a social problem?

Just learned that a 15 year-old Phoebe Prince was bullied to death. Sad!

I have been thinking why there are so many teen crimes and bullies happen in this country and started to believe that there must be serious problems in the way how parents raise their kids.

I come from China, where I believe raising kids has been a historical and cultural problem. It is by living in this country (America) that I learned what is exactly wrong with the way Chinese raise their kids. However, the recent generations of Americans seems to be more selfish and self centered than I expected and I started to doubt the way American parents raise their kids - which I used to adore - has some problem: too much attention been put onto kids so kids don't even know they should respect others.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Death_of_Phoebe_Prince