Understanding, is not that you have to "logically" understand people's choice, why they did this or that, normal or "abnormal", but, despite that you don't literally "understand" them, you still believe that they made the best choice to themselves, so you simply show your support by agreeing their choice, not your judgment by giving "advice" which is solely based on your own limited experience.
It seems very human to fill in gaps in understanding people with logical type reasons for their behaviour. Tolerance comes in when you suspend judgement (or its expression) while awaiting more evidence.
ReplyDeleteHowever I personally refuse to respect belief in fantasies deliberately created for purposes of control - religious, nationalistic, cultist, - for instance. Individuals afflicted in this way can still be liked or admired for the other more important qualities you may find.
'advice' can ONLY be based on your own experience and knowledge, but I wonder what kind of friend you are if you choke back advice which may help your friend (and your relationship). I have a friend who offers me nothing but support - he makes me tired - and I dread the next compliment. Go well old friend.
I too, reject any beliefs that were created for purpose of control. And among my own relationship with others, I've tumbled into many of them who unconsciously tried to control others, simply they think they knew me better than I did. So, that's what triggered to write down this little piece.
DeleteThanks Bob! I appreciate your visit and insight!